Soul of a Highlander Read online

  Thanks to Cate’s having saved her from certain death, she would spend her life alone, a woman who didn’t belong anywhere.

  No wonder the Fae had that rule about time travel. You cannot change the outcome of history, only alter the circumstances.

  Picking up a handful of small stones, she tossed them one at a time into the burbling stream while she tried to untangle her thoughts.

  Cate had justified bringing Mairi, Connor, and Connor’s friend, Robert MacQuarrie, to the future because they were all to have died that day. Bringing them forward didn’t change the outcome of history, so they had abided by the Fae rule.

  Why couldn’t she do the same for Marsali Rose?

  “Because I dinna have the power.” Reaching her last pebble, she tossed it and, without conscious thought, picked up more, rolling them back and forth between her hands.

  Like Cate—and Marsali Rose, for that matter—Mairi descended from the Fae. She, however, claimed her ancestry through her father’s family, Cate and Marsali Rose through their mothers’. Therein, she knew, lay the difference. The family blessing, and the powers, had been granted by an ancient Faerie prince, Pol, their ancestor. He had bestowed it on his daughters and all their daughters, throughout time. As the daughter of a son, Mairi had no power, the Fae blood in her veins her only tie to the race so long disappeared from the world of man.

  But what if she did have the power? Would she honestly do things differently if it were up to her?

  She didn’t know.

  Didn’t know if she could find the courage to go back to the place where she had been betrayed by family she trusted. Back to the place where she had thought she was going to die. To the place where she would have died if not for Cate.

  The thought of confronting her past terrified her and she hated herself for being afraid. Hated the nightmares that plagued her. Hated the idea that she’d become a weak, conforming, frightened woman.

  The realization that given the opportunity to help her aunt she might lack the courage to do so gnawed at her almost as much as the knowledge of her aunt’s loss.

  Her life had turned out so very different from what she’d planned.

  She drew up her knees and rested her forehead there. “Damned unfair if you ask me,” she mumbled to herself.

  “I knew I’d find you here. What are you pissin’ and moanin’ about now?”

  Mairi groaned. Just what she needed to complete her day. Another overprotective he-man telling her what to do.

  “Jesse.” She peered up over her knees.

  He leaned against the tree where he’d tied his horse, hands in his pockets, looking deceptively unconcerned and supremely handsome in his jeans and T-shirt.

  “When did you get back?”

  “Last night.” He sauntered over to her spot, staring down at her with his unusual brown-green eyes. “I stopped by your apartment on the way in from the airport, but you were gone.”

  Checking on her again. He didn’t say the words, but she knew.

  “I left directly for here after my last class.”

  “Yeah. I know.”

  She was certain he did. One of Cate’s other brothers, her landlady, or some other ‘spy’ Connor had in place would have told him.

  “We’ve talked about that before, haven’t we? You knew I was due back last night.” He lowered his six-foot-plus frame to the ground beside her, stretching out his long legs. “Driving up the mountains in the dark, alone”—he emphasized the word with an arch of his eyebrow that reminded her of Connor—“isn’t such a smart thing for you to be doing. Especially since you haven’t been driving all that long.”

  She rolled her eyes, the only fitting comment on his annoying bossiness. Sometimes he made it hard to remember that he was Cate’s brother, not her own.

  All of Cate’s brothers behaved the same way. They treated her like she was their little sister; they had from the first moment they had met. As if Connor weren’t bad enough. No wonder she had no desire to find a man of her own and settle down. Not that they gave her any opportunity. To think, she’d once considered life in the thirteenth century restrictive. One thing was for certain—if she ever could have found a man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, he wouldn’t have been like the ones she was surrounded by now. No domineering, chauvinistic, staggeringly overconfident alpha male for her.

  Of course, she would never have to worry about that.

  “I’m no a child; dinna treat me like one. Besides, it’s nearly all major highway. And I’m an excellent driver.” She dropped her head back on her knees. “Now go away. I’m depressed and yer ruining my wallowing in it.”

  Jesse reached over and tugged on her braid. “That’s right, Mairi-Mairi, Quite Contrary. I keep forgetting. You’re all growed up and legal.”

  She peeked an eye out at him. “I’m twenty-six. In my day, that would have made me practically one of the old crones. Women my age had a pack of children hanging on their skirts.”

  “Yeah, well, the only rug rats around here belong to Cate, and I don’t care how old you are, you’re still new to this stuff in my book, kiddo.” His grin lit up his face as he slapped her on the back. “So tell me, what’s got you up here pouting on a glorious day like this, anyway?”

  “Nothing I can do anything about.” She sat up and rolled her shoulders. “So let’s drop it. What about you? Did you enjoy your side trip, delivery boy?”

  “Actually, I did. Other than the suitcase from hell Cate had me take to her friends.” He turned and looked at her, incredulity etched on his face. “Do you realize my sister stuffed that damned huge thing full of books?”

  “That she did.” Now it was her turn to grin as she imagined his face when the suitcase was opened. “And baby girl clothes and those cute blankets she made for her friend.”

  “You knew?”

  “Your mouth is hanging open. You’ll catch bugs.” She leaned back on her forearms. “I knew. What did you think she was so anxious to have delivered she’d no want to wait for the mails to get there?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. Didn’t really think about it until I’d carted it around for a while. Then I panicked, thinking of what Cate would do if it ended up in lost luggage.”

  Mairi laughed at the images of both her sister-in-law’s ire and Jesse’s concern. “But you enjoyed yourself in spite of yer fears?” Like Jesse had ever in his life been afraid of anything.

  “Yeah. I can see why Cate and Connor are so fond of the McCulloughs. They really made me feel welcome.” He laughed. “Man, that Sarah is one huge preggo. Ian has to haul her up out of chairs.”

  “Well, Cate did say the poor thing’s having twins, so it’s no wonder.”

  “I’d planned on dropping the case and then heading back to Edinburgh, but they wouldn’t hear of it. Insisted I stay the night. Sarah went off to bed early, so Ian and I spent the evening getting to know one another. It was quite educational.” He nodded his head contentedly.

  “Sports or drink?”

  “Both.” He grinned again. “I told you I enjoyed myself. We shared a bottle of some really fine Scots whisky and Ian invited me to come back in September to attend a rugby match with him.” Jesse lay back on the ground, his arms behind his head.

  “Hmm.” Really, what kind of proper response was there to a man’s reminiscing about talk of sports and drink?

  “Yeah, Ian and I had quite the visit. Hey, did you know that both Ian and Sarah are Fae descendants?”

  “Aye. Like Connor and Cate.” Her sister-in-law had mentioned something to that effect. Little wonder they all got on so well.

  “Not exactly.” He turned on his side, propping his head on one arm.

  “How’s that?”

  “I learned some really interesting things from him. Like, did you know that our great-great-great—however many times it is—granddaddy Pol wasn’t the only Faerie finding female companionship in the land of mankind?”

  “No, I dinna.” But it did make sense. W
hy hadn’t she ever considered that?

  “Ian and Sarah both descend from completely different lines. And you know what else?”

  Mairi shook her head. Different lines?

  “They both have powers. Apparently all Fae descendants have powers of some sort.”

  “Every single one?”

  “Yep. That’s what Ian said.” Jesse sat up and stretched his arms above his head before wrapping them around his knees.

  For Mairi the idea was staggering. “How can that be? Why is it no that way with us?”

  “My guess is that it has something to do with Pol’s blessing. Apparently his words channeled all the power as he directed in the case of his descendants rather than letting Nature take her course. Although the daughters have powers, of course, and I suppose that even the sons have received a gift of sorts. You know, skills at warfare, healing quickly, things like that to enable us to better protect our females. Bizarre, huh?”

  Not bizarre. Unfair. Wrong. Mairi’s cheeks burned with her indignation. Jesse was forgetting one little piece. One very important piece to her.

  “The daughters of daughters have powers,” she quietly corrected. “The power passes from mother to daughter. Pol’s female descendants like me, however, dinna fall into that category. I am the daughter of a son. I have no powers of any kind.”

  “That’s not true. You’re gifted, Mairi.” Jesse smiled as he stood and brushed the pine needles off the seat of his jeans. “You’re brilliant. You have an IQ way beyond the norm. I’m sure it’s why you were able to step into life here so easily.”

  “That’s no the same thing by any stretch of the imagination.”

  “It’s close enough. Besides, having one witchy woman in the family is about all I could stand. Cate can handle the weird stuff, you do the brainiac routine, and I’ll just stand around and look good.” He held out a hand and, once she took it, pulled her to her feet. “Come on, genius, let’s get back to the house before dinner’s all gone.”

  Mairi dusted herself off as she walked over to her mount. She was sure Jesse’s new information held the solution to her dilemma. She only needed to figure out how to use it. Ideas raced through her mind and were quickly discarded or filed under “has potential.”

  Unfortunately every single one of them pointed to her having to do the one thing she’d promised herself she never would.

  Return to Scotland.

  Two

  THISTLE DOWN MANOR

  SCOTLAND

  PRESENT DAY

  I don’t understand. What is this?” Sarah Douglas McCullough leaned awkwardly against the door frame of the guest bedroom, staring down at the large brown envelope in her hands.

  “My insurance policy, so to speak.” Mairi laughed. “It’s the research I’ve done—information I’ve gathered, things like that. I dinna want to take a chance on losing it.” She knew Sarah would assume it was research related to the doctoral dissertation she was preparing. No sense in correcting the woman. “I’m driving up to Sithean Fardach tomorrow. I only intend to be gone for a short while, but it’s my first time back to the castle and I’m a little concerned about how I’m going to handle it.”

  She wasn’t lying to her hostess. Exactly. She was going up to the family castle. Right after a short side trip through the Faerie Glen on her way there. Then, if things worked out as she hoped in the Glen, one quick, well-planned detour and she should still be back to the castle in time to call Sarah tomorrow night.

  After all, Cate had told her that when she had gone to the thirteenth century, she had returned within the space of a few minutes. There was no reason to expect her experience to be any different.

  “You can leave this in your room, if you like. I assure you, no one will bother any of your things while you’re gone.” Sarah’s confusion was evident in her voice as she looked up from the package she held.

  “Oh no, it’s no that. It’s just…” Mairi paused. She’d need to be cautious with what she said or risk exposing her plan too soon. “There’s a note inside for Cate. They dinna know I’ve come here.” She paused again, allowing time for the shock to pass across the other woman’s face.

  “I see.” Sarah looked down at the package again. “Cate told me you hadn’t wanted to come back since…well, since your arrival.”

  “No. It was too painful to see the changes, to be reminded of what was gone, lost.” Her family, everyone she’d cared about, her whole life. “But it’s time now. Time for me to face things and deal with them. On my own.” Deal with more than just the memories.

  “I still don’t understand this.” Sarah nodded toward the envelope.

  “I know this will sound silly, perhaps melodramatic even, but I’m no sure how things will work out for me here.” She shrugged, stalling to find her footing on the delicate path she wove between the actual truth and the perception she wanted Sarah to accept as truth. “I’m no sure I’ll be able to handle seeing the place. I’d hate to lose all that work because I panic and leave there in a rush. If for any reason you dinna hear from me by tomorrow night, I’d verra much appreciate yer opening that envelope and calling Cate. She’ll know how to get those things back to me.

  “Please understand. This is something I need to do. My brother is, has always been, and I’m sure will always be, the most overprotective man on the face of the planet. He loves me, but he treats me like a child. He’s no likely to accept my doing this on my own.”

  “I certainly understand overprotective men. Believe me.” Sarah smiled.

  “On top of that, I dinna want to bother them right now. Between the children and Connor’s accident, Cate has her hands full.”

  “No, I don’t see him as the model, quiet patient. How long did the doctor say he’d be laid up?”

  “At least six weeks before he can put any weight on the ankle, though it’ll likely be a few less with the way we heal. When it first happened, they thought it might require surgery, but finally decided on the cast and keeping him off his feet.”

  “All right, Mairi. I’ll hold on to your package if it makes you feel better.”

  “Thank you.” Mairi leaned forward and awkwardly hugged the other woman, stretching around her stomach. “You’d best get off your feet as you promised Ian you would. I think he might have been serious about coming up to make sure you lie down for a while.”

  “Oh, he was completely serious. How do you think I know so much about overprotective men?” She laughed and put her free hand at the small of her back as she turned and headed down the hall. “I can hardly wait for these babies to make their appearance. Thank goodness it’s any day now.”

  “Good night, Sarah, and thank you. For everything.”

  Mairi stepped into her room and closed the door. That had gone even better than she had hoped, with far fewer questions than she had imagined there might be.

  Ian and Sarah had been remarkably gracious when she had shown up at their door, inviting her in and treating her like family. Dinner was quite an interesting affair, with one of Ian’s friends dropping by, an attractive but unusual man named Dallyn, who had stared at her throughout the entire meal.

  She kicked off her shoes and looked around the room. Everything was falling into place. Now that she had her safety net arranged, she could proceed. Tomorrow she’d rise early and head for the Highlands, where she would put Part Two of her plan into action.

  “Yer supposed to be in bed asleep, no sitting in a chair, staring out into the night. What’s wrong?” Ian stood at the doorway of his darkened bedroom.

  “I’m just a bit worried,” Sarah said.

  “I know. I felt it. That’s why I sent Dallyn off to home so I could come see after you. What are you fretting over, luv?” He walked to her chair, reaching down to stroke the golden curls he so loved.

  “I’m not exactly sure. There’s just something not quite right with our guest.” Sarah reached up for his hand, pulling it down to rest against her cheek. “A sense about her of purpose and frustration,
a banked anger of some sort.”

  “Aye. That’s what Dallyn said as well.”

  “Really? What else did he say?”

  “Just that she seemed awfully tense, like a bowstring set to fire.”

  “There’s more to it than that. She wasn’t being dishonest with me, but she wasn’t telling the whole truth either. She asked the oddest favor.”

  Ian reached down and pulled Sarah from the chair. She was exhausted, he could tell from the dark circles visible to him even in the pale moonlight shining through the window. “You need yer rest. Come on to bed, luv. You can tell me all about it there.” While he held her close.

  Tomorrow he would speak of it to Dallyn.

  Mairi awoke in a panic. The unfamiliar bedroom was dark, the shadows in the corners large and threatening. She sat upright in bed, her hand clamped over her mouth to prevent the scream she felt building.

  It had only been a dream, but it was the same as always. Not just some random nightmare, but the nightmare she had actually lived through. The one that had changed who she was.

  Though sweat covered her brow, she shivered.

  Even now, nine years later, she could taste the fear and desperation, a slick, putrid coating on her tongue; she who had never experienced fear before that night.

  She could still feel her arms wrenched back tightly behind her, held helpless as Lyall’s hot breath spidered across her cheek.

  “What a fine gift you’ll make to ensure my new ally, wee Mairi.”

  “How could you betray me like this?” How bitter that betrayal felt coming in the form of her cousin, the man she loved like a brother, the man she thought had cared for her. The cousin she had trusted with her life.

  “Betray you?” His maddened eyes sparkled as he laughed at her. “I canna betray a fool. And you, my trusting little cousin, are indeed a fool. Foolish to trust in stories of Faeries and magic; foolish to believe I could ever care for you so much that I’d risk my own future for the likes of you.”